National Hair Institute, Follicular Hair Transplantation & Restoration, Hair Loss Solution, Melbourne, Sydney, Australia

 

 

Does a thinning thatch preclude a man from money, fame and ladies? As his hair recedes, Dominic Knight ponders the wig issues.

 

When Australian fast bowler Doug Bollinger popped up on our television screens with a shocking thatch of hair - shocking, because before debuting his new "do" at January's Sydney Test Match, he was utterly bald - ex-cricketer Greg "Mo" Matthews took it upon himself to explain why. "I'm sure the hair will make Doug feel better about himself. If you feel good about yourself, you become a better man, and if you're a better man, you'll be a better cricketer," said Matthews. "Doug was broke and bald when he first met [his wife] Tegan. Now he's got hair and cash - and an Australian contract."
 

Matthews' message was clear: having hair on your head makes you rich, good at sport and attractive to the opposite sex. While it may seem ironic that many men suffering from hair loss feel emasculated (balding being the result of the natural action of testosterone), it's long been the case that many men would rather have artificial hair than none at all.

Hair replacement has a long and ignominious history; from the elaborate wigs worn by European nobles to the toupee Bert Newton jokes about but continues to wear. Then there's Donald Trump, whose hair is as absurd a construction as any casino bearing his name. But whereas being caught wearing a wig or toupee was once a major source of social embarrassment, today - thanks largely to hair replacement company Advanced Hair Studio and its relentless pursuit of balding cricketers to spruik its product - trumpeting the artificiality of one's mane is often a source of pride rather than embarrassment.
 

In Advanced Hair ads, Shane Warne confesses he was worried about crowds calling him "baldie" from the stands, though in Warnie's case this would possibly be the least offensive thing he's ever been called. But when cricket stars talk about the difference Advanced Hair has made to their lives, it raises one question: what's so bad about hair loss, anyway?
 

Recently, this has become more than a theoretical issue for me. At the age of 32, my hairline has receded dramatically, and a substantial bald patch has appeared on the crown of my head. I admit to being curious about whether a quick, easy fix exists. So I take myself off to Advanced Hair's glitzy offices in East Sydney, to find out whether they can help. I sit down, fill out a questionnaire, and then I'm ushered in for a consultation with Wolfgang, a middle-aged gentleman boasting a head of hair so lustrous I am left wondering exactly how "advanced" it is.
 

Shane Warne has been depicted in ads with a curious red laser device, which claims to stimulate dying hair follicles and thereby delay the inevitable. However, the group's flagship product is its "strand by strand" hair replacement. After a quick look, Wolfgang announces I am too far gone for the lasers, and shows me why. Using a magnifying camera, he produces a series of harrowing follicular close-ups: the difference between the thick hair on the sides and the thinning patch on top is dramatic. Clearly, the hairs on the crown of my head are more endangered than the Tasmanian devil.

Never fear, Wolfgang assures me. Strand-by-strand hair replacement can save me. I am left to watch a video, in which several of my sporting heroes explain the "non-surgical procedure". It involves attaching a plastic membrane to a patient's scalp (with medical glue, apparently) and then gradually populating it with real hairs sourced from Eastern Europe, which are tinted to match the patient's own. (Cost? About $8000.) Recipients are required to return every month or so for maintenance.
 

There is no doubt the results look better than traditional hair replacement - Bollinger and Matthews have thick heads of hair, although something about them smacks of artificiality. But for me, it's a choice between two unappealing options. Sure, I wish my scalp was less reflective, but will the woman of my dreams respect me with a shower cap on my head?

Men are going to increasing lengths to cover the natural effects of aging. Grey still equates with wisdom, but other than Star Trek's Captain Jean-Luc Picard there are few positive bald role models. Rather than going to all this trouble to replace hair strand by strand, it would seem more worthwhile to focus on replacing attitudes. But judging by a 2007 Time magazine investigation, which concluded that the balder candidate has lost every US presidential election since 1957, there is much work to be done.
 

We have begun to accept body modifications for cosmetic purposes. After all, we live in an age when people cut open their bodies and stuff silicone into them. But for me, installing a plastic sheet on my head and having hairs custom-grown in Eastern Europe inserted into it seems several steps too far.

Credit: The Age Sunday Life Magazine June 14 2009 ‘The Bald Truth” by Dominic Knight